Dear..........,
Hello. It is mother's day today. So I have decided to write this blog on my Mother today. All mothers are the best. They are good, patient, loving with a tender heart. When we have mother around us, there is nothing to worry about. God created mothers to ease pressure for Himself. I know my mother who left us exactly 28 years ago, was so caring for us that we never needed to approach God directly for our welfare. In my early life, I never saw my mother sleeping or lying down. She would be up before I opened my eyes in the morning. And when it was time for me to sleep in the evening, she would be slogging in and around the kitchen cleaning up and keeping supplies ready for the next day. Whenever I would get up during the night, I would find her awake doing repairs on our torn socks or torn pheran. During the day she would never be taking any rest too. She would keep us clean and we would always wear freshly washed clothes regularly. Water was free but soap was not. She would buy cheap but effective soap for washing the clothes. The soap would have excess caustic soda as its constituent. Using this soap would cause damage to the hands. She would use vaseline or glycerine to repair the damage on the hands. She had the habit of sleeping with kangri (fire pot) in the bed. Even when she would be fast sleep to rest the body, she would normally keep the kangri upright in the bed. However on occasions, the kangri would lose its balance and the live coals would fall on to the mattress. It would burn the bedding and smoke would cause some of us to get up and raise the alarm. Immediately, the fire would be doused with water and the sleep resumed. The bedding would then next day get repaired by filling in some new cotton and stitching a cloth at the damaged spot. She would do it all by herself. But thanks to God that nothing serious ever happened.
Those days most families used to live as joint families. There would be parents living with their sons and daughters in law. All daughters in law would be different. Some would bend their backs to ensure that they would be their mother in law's favourite one. Such daughter in law's would work like slaves. She would get happy if the mother in law would speak well to a guest about her. Then there would be other daughters in law who would not exert. The mother in law would criticise them but they would not bother. They would hear through one ear lobe and let it out through the other ear lobe. They would just not bother. Everytime the mother in law would need any help or would like tea to be prepared for a guest, she would call her favourite daughter in law to do the needful. This would go on day after day. She would be toiling My mother as daughter in law was that type but as mother in law herself she hardly had the luxury of having all her four daughter in laws living with her and be at her beck and call
I do not know how our mother would manage with the little money that our father would earn and put it at her disposal. When I had passed my graduation, she had started having health problems. She got afflicted with moderate hypertension. This unnerved her. She got panicky and the doctors would prescribe medicines. She would never miss taking the medicines as directed by the doctors. She would take due precautions with her diet too. A big portion of my salary earned after joining my job in Radio station would go to the pharmacist for her medicines as there was no medical coverage at that point of time. But all this time, she would continue to be busy with working on domestic chores.
After forced migration in 1990, she found her stay in Delhi most troublesome. First it was the heat that bothered her. And secondly she lost her home. We sons were living separately in Delhi and she would in turn stay with one son or the other. She therefore did not know which one of these houses was her home. She confined to me once about a year before she died that I arrange a separate room for her where she would live alone with her husband. To this, I said that I would do it but could our father be able to manage the household? She said that it would be tough. The discussion ended there but she appears to have been uncomfortable with her living arrangement at Delhi. She would repeatedly ask me when would the situation in Kashmir become normal..
She was very much worried on my account because, I had no flat or house in my name in Delhi or Jammu at the time of our forced migration. I was living in the government allotted accommodation. And then my daughter had reached a marriageable age. We started looking for a boy. In a couple of months we were able to find a suitable match. Just when we were preparing for the marriage, my mother took me aside and suggested that we also perform the Yagneopavit of our son simultaneously during the marriage function dates. She knew that including the additional function would be hard on my meagre resources. But she argued that if we delay the Yagneopavit ceremony of our son to a later date, it may be too late because my father was in poor health. (My father wanted that the Yagneopavi function of our son should be aligned with his marriage dates.) She said that she will find a way to find additional estimated expenditure of Rs. 30,000/- to help me. I assured her that I could manage and in accordance with her wishes the Yagneopavit function was solemnized as desired. It is ironical that she could not visualize that it would be her husband who would outlive her. Sad that she passed away six months after the marriage and Yagneopavit was solemnized.
When she was living with us sons in Delhi, she had nothing to do. I found her meditating in the morning hours. She had never done it all her life. I asked her once what and why she was doing it. She replied that she was praying to God that when it would be time for her to die, she should have a fast and quick end and would not like to be a burden on us. God listened to her and on a day in Delhi when it was the hottest day of the season and she was with our elder brother's family, she became unconscious early at breakfast time. She was taken to the hospital nearby. I was informed immediately when I was in office. I rushed immediately. I found her on the hospital bed. She was not able to speak. It appeared she was able to see me. May be she was able to hear me too. By evening she was gone. The saddest day of our lives. Our eldest brother was away on tour and rushed to Delhi next day. God had granted her wish but for us the shock was unbearable.
A few years before her death, my father gave me some money and said that it is a deposit with me for the purpose of his funeral expenses on his death. At that time, he told our mother to give me some money for her funeral expenses. My mother replied that she would not give it to me. She said that she had sons whose moral obligation is to manage it on their own. She added that if they do it well as per religious customs, they would be respected. If they do not care, the the municipal authorities would be called to the place where she would die. Then her body would be taken away and cremated. This would mean that society would spit on her sons. But she said that she has given proper sanskars to her sons that she would be taken care of.
I am attaching a photograph of our mother to this blog. She was a great Karamyogin and she must be resting in heaven at the lotus feet of Bhagwan Krishna.
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare: Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare.
Bye
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