Namaskar. The "Kaal Chakra" is moving. It has been moving for billions of years and will continue moving. Movement is life. The moment the movement stops, it signals an end. Brahma created the world; Vishnu nourished it and Shiva destroyed it. Brahma willed it and we all get born. Life is limited. One who is born has to die. The manner of death is dependent on karma. In the background of this, our dear Gigri's time was up on 17 November 2024. She left us all suddenly without notice on that day. But when she left all of us to grieve, she went in a very peaceful manner with the least pain for herself. Everyone wishes a similar way to leave but very few are granted this boon. She was a blessed soul.
I have sweet memories of dear Gigri Jee. I was around six years old when I noticed that suddenly there was a lot of activity in our house in Chinkral Mohalla, Srinagar, Kashmir. I was attached to my mother and would always tag myself to her. This was hampering her in performance of her work and that would irritate her mother-in-law, the great Aadhi Jee. The reason for sudden increase in the activity was that Gigri Jee’s date for the marriage to Baisahib Jee was nearing. Every day the pressure of work increased. My tagging my mom was now an irritant. My mama jee Shri Badri Nath Fotedar came to our house on a routine. My mother sent me with him to matamaal. He did not have any child of his while at that time my mom had four sons. I do not know whether my mom promised her brother that I was given in adoption to him. He put me in a school and I got the surname Fotedar with my mama jee’s name as my father. I remember going to the school “Ranga Teng” in Nawakadal area. I also remember that he took me to Chinkral Mohalla on the day of marriage of Gigri jee. The image of the bride and groom departing our house on that day is imprinted in my mind. After the marriage I was taken back by my mama jee to his residence.
A few days after the marriage function, things started getting normalized in our house at Chinkral Mohalla. Aadhi jee noticed that I was not around. She was informed that I was in matamaal. She suspected that I was given for adoption. She asked her son and my father Baigash Jee to bring me back. Immediate action was taken and he came to my matamaal. I remember he caught hold of me and brought me back to Chinkral Mohalla house. The next day after my return to Chinkral Mohalla, I noticed increased activity in the house. The groom and the bride were to come to our house for meals and an overnight stay. We children were locked in a room so that we would not create a mess. I remember that we sneaked through the window when the bride and groom arrived. Baisahib Jee was looking very smart in a suit and tie. Gigri looked great in a bridal fine dress and jewelry. We children continued to be confined to the room till the bride and groom were there. The next day it was time for them to leave. A”full Tonga” had been booked in advance and when they were leaving the house, all the members of the household and the neighbours were following them in a sort of procession. I remember that I was also part of the procession tagging on to my mother.
A few days later
we all including our relatives were invited by the groom’s family to come over
to Vicharnag for lunch. I remember that we all went by bus. I remember that a
tent had been erected on the ground in an open public area a short distance
from their residence. I remember seeing Gigri Jee’s mother-in-law in the house
on that day when my mother accompanied Aadhi jee for the meeting of the two
ladies. She looked authoritative. I also remember that I did not eat food there
with my hands. My mom Prabha Jee fed me with her hand. Our uncle Gwasha Jee
would later refer to this day. It appeared that on this day, there were more
people to feed than the number for whom the food was prepared. They had to cut
“mutch” (minced meat roll) into two each and then serve to the guests.
Whenever Baisahib Jee would come to our house we children were put into quarantine. We would not dare approach Gigri Jee. We would always avoid crossing her path. We were scared of her.
Now fast forward to the year 1963. I had to go to Delhi to follow up on my application to All Indias Radio for a job. AIR had sent me an interview letter by post and it had not reached me. Gwasha Jee suggested that I should go to Delhi and stay with Gigri Jee for the duration of my stay there. This was to be my first trip outside Kashmir Valley. I left Srinagar on 02 August 1963 by bus. Stayed in Jammu for a night and took the evening train to Delhi on 03 August, reaching the old Delhi railway station on 04 August Sunday. I took a scooter and reached Flat No: 525 Laxmi Bai Nagar, the residence where Gigri jee, Baisahib jee and her three children were staying. It was a small one-bed room government flat. I was warmly received. In the evening around 5 PM, Niku Jee arrived from Srinagar by flight. The flight landed at Safdarjung Airport, a short distance from Laxmi Bai Nagar. Baisahib Jee took me along to the airport. Judja Jee was already there. Niku Jee had arrived in Delhi and was to travel to Warrangal for his admission in Engineering college there. Niku Jee went with Judja Jee to his residence in Green Park. Baisahib Jee and myself returned to 525 Laxmibai Nagar.
I was very well looked after. Gigri Jee took very good care of me. The drawing room diwan was my bed for the night. As soon as I lay down, I noticed a dreadful creature on the wall near the lamp. The creature was devouring the insects. The dreadful creature was a “chipkali” (Lizard) which I was seeing the for the first time in my life. I shouted in fear. Gigri Jee came and assured me that it was not to be feared. She shoved it out of the room. Since I was very tired, I slept all night like a log. I still wonder how she was managing to accommodate everyone in that small flat. I stayed with them for about two weeks. She was very nice to me. I remember that on 5th August, at 9 AM Baisahib Jee took me along with him and we boarded a DTC bus. He showed me the AIR building but got down at the next stop. He took me to his office and ordered a cup of tea for me. He then directed me to go to AIR building on foot. I went to AIR building and met the concerned official. In half an hour my job was over and I had to return to Laxmi Bai Nagar. I went to the bus stop but was not confident that the bus would take me there. I feared boarding the wrong bus and landing at any unknown place. So, I decided to walk back from AIR. It took me almost two hours but I reached the place without any tension. I was not lost and that I complimented myself for. Gigri jee then gave me a lecture about bus travel in Delhi, and then reeled off bus numbers and routes from her memory. I was hugely impressed. To me she was an encyclopedia on DTC bus numbers and routes.
I visited Delhi many times after that. I did not stay with her but every time I would visit her. She was always very warm and made me comfortable. I would seek guidance and she was generous.
I come to Delhi on posting in September 1986. My younger brother was staying in Sheikh Sarai DDA Flat Phase I. I stayed with him till such time that I could find an independent accommodation for myself. Since Gigri Jee lived in a DDA flat in the nearby sector, I would regularly visit her. Then I got a government quarter allotment in Sadiq Nagar. She helped me in settling in the quarter. Since it was on the top floor, she advised that I should request for a change to Laxmi Bai Nagar. Although Laxmi Bai Nagar quarter accommodation was far less spacious than the one at Sadiq Nagar, I followed her advice. Soon I got Laxmi Bai Nagar allotment (777 Laxmi Bai Nagar.) Here again, she helped me set up the house there. She introduced me to all the shopkeepers in the colony marketplace and INA market. She guided me at all stages. She would visit us too often. My parents were living with me and her visits were always welcomed. They were very happy to see her. If she would not be able to come and visit them at least once a week, I was sent to her residence after my office hours and told her that Ded Lal, the name she would call our father, wanted her to come and visit us. She would be there visiting the next day.
I will recall
here a happening that illustrates the coolness with which, she would handle a
serious situation. It was August 1989. I was to go to Srinagar on one month’s
leave. Just a couple of days before I was to leave for Srinagar, she came to my
quarter in the evening. I was then living alone there. She told me that she had
promised one Mr. Ganju, who had come from Australia to get his daughter’s
marriage solemnized, to occupy my quarter for himself and his family for the
duration that I was in Srinagar. She asked me to hand over the house keys to a Kashmiri
Pandit who would come to me just before I would leave for the railway station.
I did exactly as I was asked to do. I came back after a month and the neighbour
handed over my house keys to me. I opened it and I noticed that there was a
small water jug and two steel tumblers on the table in the drawing room. There
was also an envelope. In the envelope, there was a thank you note and a cash of
Rs. 120.00 The note mentioned that it was to cover the charges for electricity
used by them. I did not appreciate this act by Mr. Ganju. The next day, I went
to Sheikh Sarai along with the jug, two tumblers, and the cash of Rs. 120.00. I
told Gigri Jee that Mr. Ganju had insulted me by this act. I said that I had
not rented out the place to him. I had given it because she had asked me to do
it. When I was expressing myself to her, she could understand that I was
emotionally disturbed. She calmed me down by asking me to keep the jug,
tumblers, and cash with her. She said that she would return it to him. I
suspect, that she said this to calm me down. Yes, I calmed down. This was her
power and tact in handling critical situations.
Gigri Jee helped us with lot of logistics when my daughter was married in November 1993. I still remember the special patties that she got made for consumption during the marriage days. There was not even a single activity that she did not guide us in. Without her, we would have messed up big.
Gigri Jee was a great support when my mother Prabha Jee passed away suddenly in May 1994. She guided us every day and softened the shock that our mother’s sudden departure had caused us. She was a towering personality and a born leader. Compassion was her nature.
With our mother
gone, Gigri Jee increased her frequency to visit our father. In the later years
of his life, our father would get irritated for almost no reason. We found it
tough to manage him. Here again, Gigri Jee would come. That would soften him
and we would find it helpful. This continued till it was time for our dad to
leave us in the year 2002. After that Gigri Jee’s visits to us came down in
frequency but her soft corner for all of us remained unchanged. Then we
migrated to Canada but we would visit her every time we would return to India. She
would handle the household nicely and take proper care of Baisahib Jee. Almost
every time, she would chide me for leaving India and staying abroad. She would
remind me repeatedly about a statement that she would say that I had made to
her that I would never leave India. I do not remember ever having said that
although I might have said that I would love to stay in India. But we all are
slaves of time and circumstances.
I am also advancing in age and pray that my association with Gigri Jee must have rubbed on me. That would help me in my last phase of life. She was a saint in “grahast” life.
OM SHANTI.
